


The Greenhouse Effect

by Varanidae



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, Nerdiness, Plants, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varanidae/pseuds/Varanidae
Summary: David visits the Elmdale Botanical Gardens all by himself and meets a handsome botanist and budding entrepreneur who sings to his plants, one Patrick Brewer.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 16
Kudos: 108





	The Greenhouse Effect

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by Noah Reid and all of those plants at his concert. Who knew it was possible to be jealous of a plant that has spent it's life having Noah sing to them? 
> 
> Also, adorkable Patrick is the best Patrick. 
> 
> Shoutout to the Rosebuddies for all the NR concert content and inspo!
> 
> T-rating is for reference to marijuana and semi-suggestive content.

David happened to be in Elmdale on a random Monday afternoon because he was no longer working at the Blouse Barn and he had to figure out how to open a savings account to keep the money he received from Wendy. His mind was easily overwhelmed with what exactly he would do with that money, but keeping it in a bank account would prevent him from spending it or thinking too much about it just sitting there. 

Opening a new account was a lot less complicated than he thought it would be and David Rose found himself with nothing but time on his hands and a head buzzing with too many thoughts. On his way out of the bank he noticed some pamphlets advertising local attractions and one caught his eye that had a picture of a very handsome man surrounded by tropical plants that had _JUNGLE FEVER_ written out in large font.

David thumbed through the ill-titled brochure for the local botanical gardens and noticed that admission to the gardens on Mondays was free and there were free guided greenhouse tours. Maybe a walk through the gardens was exactly what he needed to clear his head. He hopped into the Lincoln and headed a few miles down the road to the Elmdale Botanical Gardens. 

The botanical gardens were of modest size. There were a few different greenhouses and a walking trail. They were nothing compared to the gardens he saw in Japan, but it was quaint, it was quiet, and it was exactly what David needed. 

The next guided tour wasn’t set to start for another half hour, so David made his way to the head of the walking trail where the tour would begin. He was admiring a row of expertly trimmed potted rhododendrons and reached out to touch the waxy leaves. The leaves were smooth on top and velvety soft on the underside. He leaned over and closed his eyes to smell the bright pink and white flowers. It wasn’t a terribly strong scent, but it was like breathing in fresh, clean air. 

David continued to walk down the trail and noticed the door was open to one of the greenhouses. He was pretty sure he was the only visitor they had there that day and he was naturally curious. As he approached the greenhouse he could hear the sound of someone singing. When he got closer he could hear the twang of the sing-songy, buttery voice and then saw the back of a man who looked like he was playing with a child’s chemistry set. David stood in the entryway of the greenhouse so appropriately named “The Rosebud” and continued to listen to the man sing and get lost in his soothing voice. 

_I learned how to laugh_

_And I learned how to cry_

_Well I learned how to love_

_And I learned how to lie_

_So you'd think I could learn_

_How to tell you goodbye_

_You don't bring me flowers anymore_

The man in the greenhouse began to hum the same melancholy tune and added a few drops of some liquid to a test tube. He held it up to the light and inspected the clear tube. A huge smile broke out over his face and he clapped his hands together in celebration. David had never seen anyone get so excited about something in a test tube. Well, correction, he’d never seen someone get so excited about a test tube that didn’t contain shots of alcohol. 

The man turned around and was surprised to see David. David had been caught staring at this stranger and his face clearly showed his embarrassment. David was also surprised to see that the man happened to be the same as the one featured on the cover of the garden’s brochure. 

The stranger had kind eyes and a warm smile. He held out his hand and said, “Hi! I’m Patrick. Can I help you?” 

“Hi. David Rose.” He shook Patrick’s hand and he took notice of the strong forearms extended towards him and now folded across his chest. 

Patrick cleared his throat and there was an awkward silence. David wanted to look away, but he couldn’t draw his eyes away from Patrick’s curious gaze. 

“Uh. I’m just waiting for the tour to start and must have wandered off the path.” David said as he started to turn and leave. 

“Oh. You don’t have to go. I--I can give you a tour. We don’t have any volunteers here today so it would just be an audio guide on your own.” Patrick’s voice crackled a little and he smiled shyly back at David. 

David instantly relaxed and was glad he would have some company. “Well. If you’re offering, I’ll take it. I wouldn’t want to walk around here by myself like some kind of pervert.” He gestured wildly with his hands to emphasize just how ridiculous he thought such circumstances were. 

Patrick beamed back at David. “Okay.” 

“Okay” David smiled his crooked smile back, highlighting one dimple with delight. 

Patrick dusted off his hands and removed his bibs. He was wearing a light blue shirt with the botanical gardens logo imprinted on the chest and a pair of well-worn Levi’s. He pointed David in the direction back to the walking trail and David followed him, admiring his backside once again and noting how well his ass looked in denim. 

Patrick pointed out the pink flowers David had admired earlier. He talked about how entire armies were defeated because they had eaten poisonous plants and listed off interesting facts about different varieties. David could listen to his voice forever. 

David would nod his head along as Patrick spoke about the different plants and he laughed at Patrick’s small anecdotes about plants. It also gave him an opportunity to frequently stare at Patrick’s mouth. David found himself thinking more about that mouth and then reminded himself where he was. _Dear God, I am a pervert._

The walking trail was not long and as they approached the end of the tour David asked, “You know a lot about plants. What exactly is it that you do here?” 

“I’m a botanist. It’s my job to know a lot about plants.” He smiled back at David. 

“And is it also your job to woo the greenery with Babs’ greatest hits?” David teased and then his eyes widened when he realized that might not have been the most complimentary thing to say. 

Patrick only smiled wider at David in amusement, “It wasn’t my intention to woo _the plants_.” 

The suggestion that he was interested in wooing David sent shivers up his spine. _Oh my god. We’re doing this. We’re flirting. Okay, yes, I can do this._

“Hmm.” David nodded, “What was the little experiment you were doing back there? With the tubes?” 

“Oh, let me show you!” Patrick had the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning and he darted back towards the greenhouse, with David trying to walk quickly behind him. This man was such a dork about plants and David found it incredibly adorable. 

David stopped at the entrance to the greenhouse and Patrick turned to him with a questioning glance, “Can I assume this isn’t a Little Shop of Horrors situation and you’re not trying to, like, lure me in to feed your precious man-eating plants?” 

Patrick laughed out loud and David never wanted to stop hearing that laugh. 

“No, no. There aren’t any carnivorous plants in this greenhouse...” Patrick paused for effect, “They’re all in the greenhouse next door and they aren’t due for a feeding yet.” 

David’s brows raised to his hairline and he bit his lips trying to hide his smile. He liked Patrick. He liked Patrick a lot. 

Patrick led David to the table he had been working at when David discovered him. He straightened up the tubes and brought out soil samples. 

“Here, hold this.” Patrick handed David an empty test tube and placed it in his hands. David’s breath hitched at the touch of Patrick’s rough and calloused hands guiding him on how to hold the tube. David did as he was told and having Patrick give him directions _did things_ for him. Patrick added a sprinkle of soil from one of the glass bowls. He then added some water to the tube and then capped it off. 

“Now, shake it up.” Patrick directed. David gingerly shook the tube. 

“No, you gotta do it a bit harder.” Patrick added and then immediately blushed bright red. 

David looked back at Patrick with a challenging glare and proceeded to shake the tube quite vigorously until Patrick told him that was enough. Patrick took the tube from David and added a few drops of something from a glass vial. 

“I’m trying to get the soil a little more acidic without having to add too many weird chemicals. This sample is a mixture of soil from the compost and soil from the pine forests just west of here.” Patrick explained. 

“Why would you want to make it more acidic? Won’t that just kill the plants?” David asked, truly curious. 

“Well, some of these varieties actually grow best in slightly acidic conditions and it can make the colors of the flowers more vivid and bright.”

Patrick waited and the solution turned pink. Patrick looked over and was delighted to see the awe on David’s face. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” Patrick asked, clearly proud of himself. 

David nodded, “So pink is good? What does it mean?” 

“Pink is _very good_. It means we’re finally going to beat the Elm Valley Botanical Gardens at the annual garden show!” 

David was staring again. Staring at this dorky man in front of him who had a smile that David couldn’t take his eyes off. 

Patrick was also staring back at David with his honey brown eyes and soft smile. David noticed Patrick glance down at his lips. Maybe Patrick was also feeling whatever _this_ was. 

David’s phone buzzed and pulled him out of the trance Patrick held him in. Stevie had texted him that he was needed to resolve a Moira-related problem. 

“Um. I have to go.” David said quietly. 

Patrick’s smile faltered a bit and he said, “Oh, okay. Well, I hope you enjoyed your tour and that you’ll be back again soon.”

“Here. Take this.” Patrick handed him a business card and added, “Call or text me. You never know when you’ll have a plant-related emergency.” 

Patrick took the card and smiled back at Patrick. He left the botanical gardens on cloud nine. He’d gotten a boy’s phone number and he finally got the chance to get out of his head for a little bit. 

\---

When David finally got his mother to calm down and help her find Claudette, one of her beloved wigs, he plopped down on his bed and let out a sigh of relief. He picked up his phone and scrolled through some of the pictures he took at the botanical gardens. 

He pulled the business card from his back pocket and stared at it for a long while before finally decided to text Patrick. 

\---

Patrick was having a _great_ day. His experimental soils were working and he had met a man who could only be described as the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

He was getting ready to close up the greenhouses and head home. It was routine for him to give one last watering before heading out. He always sang to his plants. They were an audience that thrived under his care and they didn’t judge him or pressure him. Right now his voice was bright and determined and he sang out the unfiltered emotion to his wards. 

_I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more_

_I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more_

_Well, I try my best_

_To be just like I am_

_But everybody wants you_

_To be just like them_  


His pocket buzzed and he looked down to see an unknown number. His heart quickened and he opened up his messages to see that David had indeed texted him. 

_David: So...turns out I do have a plant-related emergency. This is David, btw. Not that you get a bunch of plant-related emergencies all the time from strangers._

_Patrick: Hi, David. You’d be surprised at the number of random people who ask me if a plant is marijuana._

_David: Oh._

_Patrick: What’s the plant-related emergency I can help you with?_

_David: Um. Is this weed? *picture attached*_

_Patrick: Well, it’s a little blurry, but yeah, I’m pretty sure that is marijuana._

_David: I knew it!! Stevie told me it was a patch of avocado weeds._

_Patrick: You do know that avocados grow on trees and no where close to this climate, right?_

_David: Well, I do now. Thanks to you._

_Patrick: You are most welcome._

Patrick didn’t want the conversation to end and David hadn’t responded to his last text in over three minutes. _Get your shit together, Brewer!_

  
  


_Patrick: It was really nice meeting you today, David._

_David: It was nice meeting you, too. I really needed to get out of my head for a bit and you were a welcome and cute distraction._

_Patrick: So you think I’m cute?_

_David: Ugh, you can’t tell me you don’t know hot you are._

_Patrick: No, no I don’t. Please tell me more about what I don’t know._

_David: You obviously don’t know how to return compliments._

_Patrick: Oh, I thought the fact that I couldn’t stop staring at your incredible smile was compliment enough?_

_David: Well, I haven’t met anyone in a long time who made me smile as much as I did today._

_Patrick: Yeah? Do you think I could see your smile tomorrow? Maybe let me take you out to dinner?_

_David: Yes, I’d like that very much._

_Patrick: Okay. Good. I can pick you up at 7pm?_

_David: OMG, no. I’m in Schitt’s Creek. I can just meet you in Elmdale._

_Patrick: Oh, okay. I’ll make a reservation somewhere and send you the info._

_David: Great! It’s a date!_

_Patrick: It is._

_\---_

It was the best first date David had ever been on. They met for dinner at a small Italian place that was actually quite good. They shared a bottle of red wine and laughed over breadsticks and pasta. David’s smile never faded and he enjoyed getting to know Patrick. Patrick was equally amused at David’s stories about his life since moving to Schitt’s Creek. 

“I think I want to open a store.” David said. “It would have a sand and stone color pallete and the windows would let in lots of natural light. There would be a huge display of potted plants in the window.” 

Patrick smiled back at David, “I could help you with the plants.” 

“Mmhmm. You sure could.” David placed his hand over Patrick’s and squeezed. 

Patrick walked David back to his car and he could tell Patrick was getting more nervous with each step. When they stopped in front of the Lincoln David smiled at Patrick, “Well, that was a fun night.” 

“I’m really glad you decided to visit the gardens yesterday.” Patrick said softly, looking up at David through his lashes. 

David replied, “That’s a very lovely thing to say.” 

“And gee, Patrick, I’m so glad you lured me in to your greenhouse with your angelic voice.” Patrick teased. 

“Angelic is a bit of a stretch…” 

The two men stared at each other for a beat. David took a step closer and Patrick met him the rest of the way until their lips were touching. David’s hand was resting on the back of Patrick’s head and Patrick’s palm was resting on David’s chest. The kiss sent electric jolts down David’s spine and he felt like the hairs on his skin were standing straight up. Patrick’s other hand was on David’s waist, pulling him in closer, clinging to him like he never wanted this kiss to end. 

David was the first to pull back and he saw that Patrick’s eyes were still closed and he hummed in reluctance at the loss of David’s lips on his own. David’s hand was now resting on Patrick’s shoulder and he smoothed it down his arm and clasped Patrick’s hand. 

“Can I talk to you tomorrow?” Patrick asked. 

“We can talk anytime you like.” David replied. 

David drove back to Schitt’s Creek with the memory of Patrick’s kiss and a clearer vision for what he wanted his business to look like. He blasted Mariah Carey all the way back to the motel and sang out loud to the night. 

\---

“Okay, I just think I’m in a state of shock right now, you know, and I’m feeling very vulnerable.” 

“Mmhmm.” Patrick leaned in to his _boyfriend?_ and kissed him sweetly on the lips. David was sitting on one of the tables in his greenhouse lamenting about his sister or his mother or a sweater. It was hard to focus and it was difficult to get any work done with David around. They’d been dating for a few weeks and it was _sooo good_. 

“I’m just going through a lot right now. The bags under my eyes are horrible. I look awful.” David continued and Patrick kissed him once again. 

“Here.” Patrick handed David a small jar of gooey liquid. 

“What’s this?” 

“It’s a eucalyptus and aloe gel. I made it. It’s great for cuts, burns, and even puffy eyes.” 

David looked up at Patrick surprised and sniffed approvingly at the contents of jar, “Do you sell this stuff?” 

“No. I haven’t really thought about it. I just make it for myself.” Patrick leaned in again hoping that David would let him deepen the kisses, but now it was David that was distracted. 

“This is amazing, Patrick. Like, people pay a lot of money for these kinds of products. Do you make other plant-based products?” 

Patrick paused to think about it. “Well, I make calendula oil and I collect black walnut shells to make scrubs. Oh, and I also have a pretty good set up for collecting yeast. But all that is just for myself or I give to coworkers or family and friends.” 

“Patrick. This is the store. This is it! I know I only just got the lease, but will you be my official first vendor for Rose Apothecary?” David was excited! 

“I don’t know, David. Like how much product are we talking about? Do you have any vendor agreements made up? What is the overhead going to look like? Could you even make a profit? How much would you have to mark it up?” 

“Whoa.” David grabbed Patrick by the shoulders, “One: It’s adorable that you’re worried about this already. And two: What the fuck? Since when does my boyfriend know all of these business-y words?” 

Patrick’s whole being softened at David’s use of the word _boyfriend._ They hadn’t labeled things yet and he really really wanted David to be his boyfriend. He smiled back at David, “Hmm. It would appear my _boyfriend_ doesn’t know that I also have a business degree.” 

David cleared his throat, “Umm. I--I didn’t say that.”

Patrick was amused at David’s failure to admit what he had slipped, “Mmhmm. Well hey, my boyfriend hasn’t paid attention to anything I’ve said about my time working as an accountant for the farmers co-op.” 

“Okay. Well, in my defense I thought you meant you counted like stalks of corn or something.” Now David was smiling and Patrick was wrapped up in his arms. David pulled him in close, between his legs. 

“Right...” Patrick leaned in for the deep, passionate kiss he had wanted from David since he walked through the door of the greenhouse. David parted his lips and Patrick dove right in to take what David was giving him. Kissing David, feeling David, wanting David was all Patrick could think about lately. 

David wrapped his legs around Patrick and pulled him even closer, pressing their bodies together. When Patrick realized he was getting a little too turned on for someone who was supposed to be working, he pulled back and rested his head on David’s shoulder. He caught his breath. 

“So you’ll think about it? You’ll be my first vendor?” David asked somewhat breathless, looking just as wrecked as Patrick felt. 

“How about I run some numbers and write up a sample agreement first? That way we aren’t diving into something without thinking about the business side of things?” 

David beamed up at Patrick, hopped down from off the table and said, “Deal. God, my boyfriend is so hot when he talks about business.” 

\---

Patrick had spoken with the head of the botanical gardens and they agreed to rent him additional space so he could expand the number of plants he needed to produce a decent amount of product for David’s store. Patrick was also spending a lot more time helping David with the business side of things for Rose Apothecary. Between his job at the botanical gardens, his new product line, and helping David he was exhausted. 

David had fallen hard and fast for Patrick Brewer. It was officially the longest relationship he’d ever had and they were going strong. His store had opened and it was thriving thanks to Patrick’s help and his wildly popular products. He decided he would surprise Patrick for their 4-month anniversary and take him out to dinner and a spa after he got off of work. 

David took the now familiar walk towards the Rosebud Greenhouse and heard Patrick’s beautiful voice. 

_Speak the language of love_

_Like you know what it means_

_It can't be wrong_

_Take my heart and make it strong, baby_

_You're simply the best_

_Better than all the rest_

_Better than anyone_

_Anyone I've ever met_

When Patrick noticed David he didn’t stop singing. He walked up to David and placed his hands on his waist and David naturally wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. 

_Just as long as I'm here in your arms_

_I could be in no better place_

_You're simply the best_

_Better than all the rest_

_Better than anyone_

_Anyone I've ever met_

_I'm stuck on your heart_

_I hang on every word you say_

_Tear us apart, no, no, no_

_Baby, I would rather be dead_

When Patrick finished his private serenade he wiped a tear from the corner of David’s eye and kissed his neck before squeezing him into a tight hug. 

David sniffed and cleared his throat, “Hi.” 

“Hi.” 

“I have a plant-based emergency for you to solve.” David teased. 

“Oh, yeah? More pictures of weed from Mr. Hockley’s farm?” 

David furrowed his brows, “No. Unfortunately, a real one. Seems like some of our clientele don’t have magical green thumbs like you do. Do you think we could find some offerings that are a little bit more difficult to kill?” 

“Hmm. I think you’re looking for a Philodendron then.” Patrick walked them back to the corner of the greenhouse and gestured to a selection of green leafy houseplants. 

David looks over the selection with an approving arch of a brow and Patrick can’t take his eyes off of the tall, dark, ridiculous, generous, and beautiful man standing in front of him. 

“Love.” Patrick says quietly as he looks in to David’s widening eyes. Patrick finally registers a little too late that he just said that out loud. 

“That’s what Philodendron means. Tree of Love.” He’s still staring at David, searching his face to see if he understands that Patrick is really talking about much more than plants right now. 

David’s eyes are tearing up again, “Love, huh?” 

Patrick takes a hold of David’s silver ringed fingers and brings them up to his lips to kiss, “Mmhmm. Love.” 

Another tear falls down David’s cheek and he gets it. He gets what Patrick is saying and he loves this man even more because he’s giving him a chance to accept it without having to say the words just yet. 

David brings their clasped hands to his heart and kisses Patrick, trying to pour in all of the emotions that he can’t verbalize. 

When David finally pulls back from the tender kiss, he looks back at Patrick’s heart eyes and in a quiet voice acknowledges everything that hasn’t been spoken, “Yeah. It’s love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this sweet little story! 
> 
> Songs featured in this fic:  
> You don’t bring me flowers, Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohU38WJV45c  
> Maggie's Farm, Bob Dylan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z72kXNF848  
> The Best, Tina Turner (of course!)


End file.
